FlashBacks

This post is tagged stories and daily.
as, this is what really happened to me.
but when i type this, how i wished its just another emo creation of mine, and none is real....


Since young, i had always wanted to meet my better half in the most unexpected way in my life, as i would want to start off a relationship with her in the most explosive and exciting way.

As i look and look, i realised that there cant be so many coincidence that would cause such senarios to happen, and therefore made me give up on such a dream.

But you and me started of in one of the most bizzare way ever.

People kept asking, how did i know u, when there is almost no direct links between you and me. i just merely said, mutual friends.

But there are some friends, who are present, knows what happened. so i shall recount how we first met, though years back, it reminded me of how retarded i can be when i was younger.

A phrase that gone wrong
----------------------------
we first met at a concert, while u, a performer, me an audience here to support my best friend.
after concert, we met and say hi, short, yet memorable.
we splitted, u with your friends, while i with mine.
we met again at macdonalds and thats where everything started to go wrong.
i admit, while i was with my frenz, i told them aloud that i will get ur number the next time i see u. they sneered and say im only all talk, which i also admit, its partly true, as im quite confident the next time we meet, they would have forgotten these words.
but our mutual friend brought us to mac, whereby u are there as well.
GAME OVER for me.

i will have to do it. else be a loser for life.
it wasnt easy to approach a girl and get her number, especially in front of everyone, even though some are people i know as well.
i said something like, "我是用心来交朋友的！"
i failed, of course, for saying weird stuffs on first meeting
it became a joke to everyone, but it mark a very important begining.
one that i didnt know would make me like u.


i mean, lets be frank.
you have never been my type of girl.
imma crazy bangs-loving guy. and girls of my type would be of long hair, cute and nerdy(yes! i love nerdy girls)
you are like the complete opposite.
sporty short hair, sharp character, damn serious face.

i would be more scared of u, den to like u, if i didnt get to know u better.
but yea,as time goes by, i added u to fb, started talking to u on fb after seeing u at ssdc, the day i passed my ftt...
and from there on, got ur msn.

it was after my enlistment that i got your number.
u called to ask me about driving instructor.
and from then on, i got ur NUMBER AND MY SPAMMING STARTSS
MWSAAHHAHAAH
do u regret giving me ur number???
i sometimes do think about this.
maybe if i didnt got ur number, i wouldnt have gotten so smitten by u.

our conversation thru sms is a lifesaver, as army tend to be very boring with duties and suchs.
but when u are anticipating smses, time tend to go faster, and then on, i get to know u better.
i realised u aint a princess that i always thought u are, i realised that u cared for anyone and everyone, despite not showing it out, i realised that ur actually a very sweet girl, and i know that i sms u, u will definitely reply, only early or late.

your way of doing things, treating people and caring for everyone made me feel like a kid. i have never know out there, there are so many problems to be faced, so many shit to handle. it made all my overseas exposure, working experience and life experience looked so small, in comparison. and that is when i started understanding why "nurse dun like little boys"
its never about physical age. what really matter is mental age, and our gap is so big that i guess i only appeal to u like a little brother, not someone who can love and protect u.

I know all these, i know i should have let go, long long before anything more could develope. friends told me not to waste time, as they too know, she wun be the one for me. but i couldnt. i tried, but i couldnt.

u sometimes tell me i fallen for u because i still dunno u well, and i didnt have enuff chances to see the world and know better girls. i agree with u. but not fully, as u didnt know just how much charm u urself have as well.

well, i noticed a change between our msging pattern and i dismiss it off as if nth serious happened, i knew my worst nightmare is coming thru.
i know it would end, like how it have always ended.
it seeemed like a curse to me, every girl i liked, would definitely land up with a better guy.

now that im lost and im not sure where else to go, i wrote this entry to let out how i really feel.
and i hope that few mths or years later, i would read this again, and see if i have matured, gotten over the emo loser feeling that i had always felt. in fact, when i read back some posts of my failed pursues, i realised i haven grow up at all.

god, pls, help me grow up. let me be a better man.
getting over her is never a worry for me.
what that is worrying to me is,
why haven i grow up, while my peers have all surpassed me.




故事的小黃花　從出生那年就飄著
童年的蕩鞦韆　隨記憶一直晃到現在
ㄖㄨㄟ　ㄙㄡ　ㄙㄡ　ㄒ一　ㄉㄡ　ㄒ一
ㄌㄚ　ㄙㄡ　ㄌㄚ　ㄒ一　ㄒ一　ㄒ一　ㄒ一
ㄌㄚ　ㄒ一　ㄌㄚ　ㄙㄡ
吹著前奏望著天空　我想起花瓣試著掉落

＊為妳翹課的那一天　花落的那一天
　教室的那一間　我怎麼看不見
　消失的下雨天　我好想再淋一遍
　沒想到失去的勇氣我還留著
　好想再問一遍　妳會等待還是離開＊

＃颳風這天　我試過握著妳手
　但偏偏　雨漸漸大到　我看妳不見
　還要多久　我才能在妳身邊
　等待放晴的那天　也許我會比較好一點

　從前從前　有個人愛妳很久
　但偏偏　風漸漸　把距離吹得好遠
　好不容易　又能再多愛一天
　但故事的最後妳好像還是說了（拜拜）＃




漫天的話語　紛亂落在耳際　你我沉默不回應
牽你的手　你卻哭紅了眼睛　路途漫長無止盡
多想提起勇氣　好好的呵護你　不讓你受委屈　苦也願意

那些痛的記憶　落在春的泥土裡　滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡　讓我們取名叫做珍惜

迷霧散盡　一切終於變清晰　愛與痛都成回憶
遺忘過去　繁花燦爛在天際　等待已有了結局
我會提起勇氣　好好地呵護你　不讓你受委屈　苦也願意

那些痛的記憶　落在春的泥土裡　滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡　讓我們取名叫做珍惜

漫天紛飛的花語　落在春的泥土裡　滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡　讓我們取名叫做珍惜

那些痛的記憶　落在春的泥土裡　滋養了大地　開出下一個花季
風中你的淚滴　滴滴落在回憶裡　讓我們取名叫做珍惜

讓我們懂得學會珍惜


very last.
i wish u the best.
pls dont be sad for me, nor pity me.
coz im EvErywh3r3 =]