Complicated

The release of the awesome show “那些年，我们一起追的女孩” made me think about a lot of stuffs, as partly because it depicted school life and love life relating to school in a way. And these are the things that is close to my heart.

Year 1 Sem 1 has ended, and i kind of regret doing several stupid stuffs throughout this short period of time. Though it was a fun and enriching experience, and i have been able to experience many of my first time, there are still things that cock up and would be always there in me for life.

As always, im lost again in the game of love, and had sort of changed target in a short span of time. This would have been a deadly move as anyone you know would have deemed you a flirt and poof, game over fer you. But really, i didnt realise somethings until it had happened. She is just so sweet, so kind, and so nice, and that i have accidentally fallen for her.

But, im not taken seriously like always. The speed of change is too fast. I screwed up. I should have waited, and impulsiveness have been proven lethal once again. Well, there are things that not everyone know. Would you waste time writing a useless program just for the girl you like? Would you be taking note of exactly what type of guys she like just to work towards someone she might double take? Would you of all, treat her like a princess and constantly feed her? But yea, that doesnt mean she would and must like me back.
Life is unfair. 我一直认为只要有毅力和耐力，我始终会追到她。但当我到终点时，我才发现，她以经远走高飞了。
However hard i try, i will never build an impression of the awesome guy she would like in her.

Another big regret is the super time wasting lifesaving course. Though i got recerified, i just realised that i couldnt commit my weekends like how i did during poly years mainly because of all those heavy commitments with hall and faculty. Thus, if my results were to suffer, the biggest culprit would definitely be this stupid CCA which takes 4 out of 5 days a week.

The negligence of faculty mates are also a problem. We used to be so close when the term just started. However, im losing them as time goes by as i could not catch up with all their activities due to my heavy schedules. if i were to choose again, i will not neglect them as much as i do now.

Hall life is awesome. i love it. now, can i still stay on after next sem?
i can only work hard.
but well, even if i couldnt, these experience will live in me forever.

Oh, and this post is supposed to be written to remind me in written form that, even if she continues to treat me nicely, it doesnt mean i still have a chance. it just meant she is nice to everyone, and ur just an everyone to her. Not the special one.
I.need.to.give.up.before.irritating.her.



拜托你不要给我答案，我没有问你，所以你不可以拒绝我。请你让我继续的喜欢你吧！

那些年，我们一起追的女孩




我喜欢你，糊涂笨拙的样子
我喜欢你，面带笑容的可爱
我喜欢你，对所有人的关怀
我喜欢你，尽心尽力的努力
我喜欢你 ，不做作的性格
我喜欢你， 不高不矮不瘦不胖的身材
我喜欢你，明明就是一位不起眼的女孩，但却让我深深着了迷的莊亦玲

But yea, its over now. Im over.
Im but just a flashing lighning in her life.
Though i do lite up her life with sparks for a while.
I brought along a long and cold thunderstorm in the process.

tried too hard again

im trying to care.. but i ended up nagging...
im trying to love.. but i ended up hurting...
im trying to improve.. but whatever i improved was not significant to you.

i think i just tried too hard again.
-EvErywh3r3

flaring again

i have not been blogging since school kicked in in full swing..
fml.


but i guess i need to find some time to start flaring on all the shits in school one day.

but not today.

LOL...

okay.
just wanna remind myself that im gonna fail FYP again...
cecz0000 is an impossible module for me..

her.

you are never special.
at least i never meant to make u special in any sense when i first met you.
but oh boy, you're really a fireworks. from the first time i meet you, i have never experience such excitement and joy in me before. its a mix of being afraid to scare you off, yet trying very hard to be keep you smiling. i admit, i would have given you the feeling that i tried too hard.

but i really do like you.

you wanted to only be friends. i will comply. but lady, give me some time. dont write me off yet. i may be down, but im not yet out. i may be weak, but that doesnt make me love you less. so, dont think that asking me to stop, i can just treat it as i have never liked you. i get infatuated easily, but i dont fall easily.

as much as i hope u will read this, but im sure you wouldnt.
so this shall be here, for no one to read.
for someone who care.
but never reach the one i meant.

QET sample paper

Either
1. Forming strong friendships is one of the most important aspects of life as a
student.Write about the benefits of having good friends.
Or
2. A recent survey has shown that people are most afraid of heights and public
speaking.Besides these two fears, what makes you afraid and why?

i choose 2.

Besides this two fear, i guess my greatest fear is the fear of dark places.

In a pitch dark place, you would not be able to see what is around you, nor know what is out there. It could be full of surprises, and it could be full of shock.
Human have the tendancy of being afraid of things that they cannot see, as they would not know what is it they are doing. And when visibility is at its lowest, one of our most important sense rendered useless, all we can do is to feel.

Being a blessed child with no damages to my five senses, i am very afraid of dark places for many reasons. i am too used to seeing things around me and when i am unable to tell what i am doing with my sense of sight, i would start panicking. i would usually bump into things, which in turn injure myself, or spoil the things unintentionally. this has happened to me several times in life, as dark places, like high grounds, is unavoidable. Also, in dark places, you could feel severe discomfort as you would not know what is around you. Are they people who will be helping you, or are they out there to harm you.

Dark places, on the other hand can be mysterious and fun. however, thus far, all my experiences with dark places only end up in fear and panic.

reflection of how im hweeeling

i promised not to go into that situation again.
i promised to be a better person.
i promised myself, that i, will do better than the me in the past.

but somehow, i made the same mistake.
again and again and again.

wtf am i thinking and doing?

i need to concentrate!!!

okay... gonna have fun tml =DD

need to dig out my "say no to emo" liaoz..

and worst of all, bad thing doesnt happen alone..

no hall camp, entered a old hall =[[[

Forge of Olympus!

the day before camp, i was still so worried that i couldnt blend in well..

at the last day of camp, i super cant bear to leave them!!

guess that wat camping is all about =D

and yea, i have an awesome sp, though i really didnt talk much to her on my first meeting...

Go Triton Go You Go You Go!!