i met u first.
but that does not give me an advantage over him.

seeing u hurt and sad over him, i cannot but wonder if we were instead together, what would happen.

will i hurt you,
will i make you sad.
will i leave u alone, when what you wanted is me so bad.
will i be nice and sweet, like how everyone is when it first begin.
or will i be a changed person when time goes by, just like him.
will i make empty promises that i know i cant keep.

but then again, i was not chosen.
how can i be better?

maybe im more of a jerk than he really is.
maybe because im not him, that i say its entireely his fault.

i only blame myself when i see u hurt
i blame myself for not being better.
i blame myself for not trying hard.
i blame myself for having the headstart and still lose out.
i blame myself for not being able to convince you that im the one.

and all i can do when i see you getting hurt by him, is to blame myself for not being the better man.

the demon is out.
i feel so much better now.